When you are trying to break a habit, you must become aware of and disenchanted with the negative rewards of doing the habit. If you do not, the habit will persist.
Let's first of all talk about rewards. One big, immediate reward of engaging in any number of bad habits is that you get to numb out. Numbing out feels good in the moment. When you numb out with food, cigarettes, scrolling, weed, Netflix, or any other external substance, you get to escape feeling things like discomfort. That discomfort could be frustration, boredom, restlessness, stress, shame, judgement, anger, fear, anxiety...any feeling. Numbing out feels like a big reward because it's like a cozy, comfy binky that you wrap around yourself to stay safe and warm. You get to stay comfortable. You've found a temporary escape route.
You must start to balance out the reward of numbing out by bringing your attention to the negatives of your habit if you want to succeed at loosening its grip on you. Think long and hard. What are the negative rewards of your habit? With overeating: Weight gain. The discomfort of over fullness and stomach distending. A foggy brain the next day. Disappointment and regret. Not progressing toward goals. For many, a return to the cycle of binge-restrict, diet mentality. AND, still left not having solved the original discomfort of frustration, anxiety, boredom, or stress. Keep turning your attention to the negative rewards so that you know them not just in your mind, but in your body.
The more you bring your awareness to the negative rewards of your habit, the more you will become disenchanted with it, the more the negatives will begin to outweigh the positives, the closer you will be to disengaging from the habit. The worst thing you can do is to do the habit and then beat yourself up so hard that you don't bring awareness, interest, and curiosity to the reward value of what you did. The worst thing you can do is to shut off your brain and ignore yourself both during and in the aftermath of engaging in the habit.
Until next time,
