In counselling, we talk about and practice "feeling your feelings".  This concept can be baffling for some.  What the heck does "feeling your feelings" mean, and why might it be important to know what you feel and feel what you feel?

Being aware of how you feel is SUPER important because everything we do in life is because of how we want to feel.  Everything.  Our feelings drive our actions.  Our actions create our results.  Therefore, our feelings direct the results we get in our lives.  Do you follow?  What I'm trying to get at here is that exploring feelings is not just for a rainy day or when you have a day off or when you have some spare time.  Exploring what you feel is not a luxury or frivolous.  Exploring what you feel is a necessity if you want to be in charge of what you create in your life.

We want to feel a range of feelings on purpose, not just the "good" ones.  I want to feel sadness when someone I love dies.  I want to feel disappointment when things don't turn out the way I hoped.  I want to feel discomfort when a boundary I've set has been crossed.  Why?  Because negative feelings are part of the human experience and without them, I wouldn't know happiness, peace, love, joy, and all the "good" feelings.  When I avoid the negative feelings by buffering them away with distraction, I numb out half of my life.

If I've convinced you to feel your feelings, here's the recipe: A feeling comes.  1. Label the feeling (e.g., sad, despair, depressed, frustrated, hopeless, annoyed, angry, bothered, restless, bored, happy, etc.).  2. Locate where the feeling sits in your body and describe it.  Did you know that every feeling produces a vibration in your body?  Answer the following: Where is the feeling?  Does it ache or stab or constrict or... ?  Does it feel light or heavy?  Is it moving or still?  Does it have a temperature?   A color?  Get specific.  3. Move on with your day.

That's it.  Enjoy feeling those feelings!

Until next time,