If you are a human being, you are guaranteed to experience worry from time to time because that’s what humans do.  Worry is a normal and natural part of life, but is there a point when worry becomes destructive?

 

If you notice that worry is keeping you from enjoying your life, carrying out daily tasks, or engaging with  things and people that are important to you, it’s time to pay attention.  Excessive worry can turn into rumination – that place of being stuck in your head for long periods of time and, subsequently, missing out on life as it is happening right in front of you. 

 

Rumination is an attempt to lessen uncomfortable feelings.  It is an attempt to figure out problems, albeit in an unproductive way.   When we get caught in the loop of excessive worry, we may feel like we are doing something about the situation.  In reality we are doing nothing except being pulled into an ineffective loop that has no exit.  Rumination attempts to minimize the problem but can have the opposite effect.

 

Rumination is incompatible with living in the present.  Your mind is in the past or future when you ruminate – not in the present. 

 

Ask yourself:

1. Do I spend large amounts of time being lost/stuck in my own thoughts?
2. Do I spend a lot of time striving to “figure things out”?
3. Does being stuck in my thoughts keep me from living the kind of life I want to live?

 

If your answer is “yes” to any of the above, consider the following:

1. Rumination robs us of the gifts right in front of us.
2. Rumination stops us from taking committed action on things that matter to us.
3. Rumination keeps us firmly entrenched in the stories we tell and believe about ourselves and others.
4. Rumination, on one hand, helps us avoid pain, but also brings the pain back around with renewed strength.

 

Lessening rumination may seem scary because you have been using it to “help” you solve problems.  It can be scary to get out of your head and into your life. 

 

To loosen the hold of rumination, consider experimenting with the following:

1. Employ your senses: when you feel yourself getting stuck in thoughts, name out loud five things you see, five things you hear, five things you smell, and five things you can touch.
2. Get it out of your brain by talking or writing it down. Phone a friend and spill, talk to or email your counsellor, or jot down your thoughts on paper.  Simply getting it out of your brain goes a long way.
3. Contain it: set a timer for 5-10 minutes every day and let that be your time for ruminating. Ruminate all you want during that time, but when the timer goes off, close down your thoughts and go live your life.

 

The purpose of addressing rumination, of course, is to increase the quality and enjoyment of your life.  If you seem to continually struggle with getting stuck in your thoughts, remember that getting unstuck takes practice and persistence.  You are not alone.  Seek counselling.  Do not let your life pass you by!

 

Until next time,

 

 

Counselling services for those in Langford, Colwood, Metchosin, Sooke, and all of Greater Victoria