food part IV: where is your bus headed?

The picture below is an extension of my thoughts about the tug-of-war between external and internal focus when it comes to our relationship with food.  If you have not read that post yet, you can read it here.

Two additional posts you may want to check out pertain to when your relationship with food is complicated, and why you would bother improving your relationship with food.


Let me ask you this: where is your bus headed?  Which bus are you on?  Or maybe you’re on both, creating that tug-of-war.  Each bus travels to its own destination.  One leads to stress and dissatisfaction; the other, to peace and freedom.  You choose.


Initially when I was drawing the picture, I did not include passengers and a driver on each bus.  Oops.  This is important!  You are the driver, in charge of steering your bus in the direction you choose.  There are passengers on your bus.  Some are unruly and negative, and others are kind and encouraging.  Some will yell at you and insist that you are doing it all wrong.  They might try to persuade you to ditch how your body feels and focus instead on how you want to look.  They may tell you that you will lose control if you don’t prescribe to a diet.   They may tell you that you will never achieve a healthy and peaceful relationship with food.  They may tell you to stop trying.  These passengers are your thoughts that pull you in many directions.  But you are the driver.  You can keep going in your chosen direction despite what the passengers are saying.  Just notice what they say and keep driving in the direction of your destination.


You will screw up repeatedly.  You will believe the negative messages the passengers are telling you.  You will drive in the wrong direction and get lost.  You will make some U-turns.  Maybe eventually you will let some of those unhelpful passengers off and pick up some passengers who are going where you want to go.   All of this to say that it’s messy and not clear cut.  But it may be a journey worth taking. 


Do you have questions?  Comments?  Insights?  Maybe you’d like to focus in on your relationship with food but are not sure where to start.  Perhaps you struggle with your thoughts and feelings about your body and wish to explore this further with a counsellor.  Counselling is not just for the crises in our lives; it can help you live more effectively in many areas, including your relationship with food. 


Contact me for a free consult if you’re curious!


Until next time,



Counselling services for individuals and couples  -- Langford, Colwood, Metchosin, Sooke, and all of Greater Victoria


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