What does an urge look like?  At first, it's difficult to observe it because it seems to happen so quickly.  You have an urge.  You react to the urge by satisfying it.  The urge dissipates.  All of this can happen in the blink of an eye.  In slow motion, it looks like this: You have a thought that goes something like, "I want that now", "I need some now", "I want more now".   The thought feels urgent, like an emergency.  You feel pressure.  You feel the urgency to answer the pressure now.  Out of this urgent pressure, you react by eating the food you want.  As you eat, the urge settles down.  The pressure and panic subside.  That is the anatomy of an urge.

Often people feel like they have no control over urges because their reaction is so swift.  Their reaction requires no thought because the brain has given in to these types of urges thousands (sometimes tens of thousands) of times.  The brain likes to carry through with processes that require the least amount of effort.  It knows the urge/reaction pathway well.  The brain is very comfortable with that pathway.

If you want to gain freedom in your relationship with food, you will need to learn the ins and outs of urges and how to handle them.  Handling urges properly does not involve resistance or willpower.  If you use resistance and willpower, you will notice the urge becoming stronger.  This is when urges backfire and cause double the mess.  Handling urges requires that you learn how to allow and make space for that feeling of pressure and all the other feelings under it.  It feels awful.  But eventually you will learn that you can face any emotion, even the uncomfortable, scary ones.  This is emotional mastery and its long-term effects feel a million times better than any food.

Until next time,