People tell me they don't have money for self care.  If you are worried that you don't have the money for self care, you are thinking about self care in a limiting way.  Who says self care must involve money or even anything external?

The best kind of self care you can give yourself is the gift of figuring out and being curious about what is in your brain.  It is all internally driven.  No amount of tea, nail polish, haircuts, fine food,  or travel compares.  Getting curious about what is in your brain has huge wellness payoffs.  You become more in tune with yourself which provides relief, comfort, peace, calm, and stillness -- physically and mentally.  Have you tried it?

If you try to ignore and cover up what you're thinking and feeling with "self care" activities, you're going to feel empty long term.  Our bodies are wise.  If you pay attention to what's happening in your brain on purpose without judging it, you will feel better.  That is the highest form of self care.  There are many ways to practice this, but here are a few examples to get you going:

You feel overwhelmed.  Rather than keep pushing through your to-do list, stop.  Recognize and name the feeling.  Ask yourself: what thoughts am I thinking that are making me feel overwhelmed?  Get curious and don't try to fix it.  Just be aware that it's your thoughts that make you feel overwhelmed, NOT your to-do list.

You are fighting with your partner.  As you fight, get curious about what your partner "should" be doing differently.  Be aware that your rule about how your partner "should" behave is causing resistance in you.  Don't try to fix it but just notice it.

You feel devastated.  Let yourself feel it instead of distracting or reassuring yourself.  Don't try to fix it.

You are beating yourself up.  Ask yourself: What would love do?  How would Love treat me right now?

You are tired.  Sit still, your body heavy and grounded, and let your facial muscles sink into relaxation.  Sink, sink, sink.

You overreacted.  Get curious about that.  Ask: what am I thinking and feeling that caused me to overreact?  Don't try to fix it.

This, my friend, is self care in its purest form.  Among the definitions of "care" are these gems: paying attention to, showing interest in, and having regard for.  Pay attention to, show interest in, and have regard for yourself.  Get into your brain and find calm.  A new haircut will only go so far.

Until next time,